Am I the World's Greatest Husband?

....I think the answer is a resounding yes!!

Yesterday was bank holiday Monday. Victoria and I had finally recovered from our extremely long Saturday night drinking session (Alice was at Victoria's mum's so don't worry!!) and we were wondering what to do.

We finally decided that it was time we bought some new sofa's and so off to DFS we went, guided of course by TimTim. ;-)

We needed new ones anyway but Alice had recently re-decorated our existing sofa's with a biro which forced us to take the plunge and head off to our nearest bank holiday double discount warehouse or whatever crap they call their continuous sales.

As Alice is not the cleanest of people I wanted a couple of cheap sofa's to see us through her messy phase with a view to buying more expensive ones in a couple of years. However, when you get there and see all the nice sofa's for exactly twice what you wanted to pay you sort of convince yourself that more money means longer lasting etc and so take the plunge anyway. We ended up buying a 2 seater and a 3 seater 'Dalton'. Not cheap but very nice indeed. We can't wait until the 9 weeks delivery time is up.

Beware of the tricky salesmen at DFS if you ever go. They tell you that all their products are treated and that they will not stain or mark for 5 years and then candidly add the cost of this treatment to the total cost you pay, an increase of £140!!! Being very quick off the mark and 'street-wise' I immediatly pulled him up about this. He appologised and came out with some crap about being busy and not making himself clear. Yeah, right. I did actually have the coating in the end (Alice again) but not before I had made sure he knew I had not been conned into it.

Anyway, new sofa's are the first reason I am a great husband.

Secondly, as it is our fourth wedding anniversary in October (four years already!!!!) I have purchased Evita tickets for the 14th October at the Adelphi theatre in London. We will be travelling by train, first class of course, watching the show in the afternoon (tickets in the stalls of course) and then going out for a slap up binge at a posh restaurant before falling into our beds at a posh hotel on the Strand. We have not yet chosen a restaurant so any suggestions would be good!!

This is the second reason I am the world's greatest husband.

Thirdly, I have acquired two tickets to see the greatest rock and roll hero ever to grace this planet, Bruce Springsteen, at the Sheffield Arena. Front standing seats of course. The third reason I am such a great husband is because I am giving the second ticket to Victoria. She will get to see the worlds greatest live performer!!!

Sorry girls, I'm taken!!!!!

I am sure you will all agree, I am truely the worlds greatest husband. :-)


I agree you are the worlds greatest husband but lets not forget why, I have been tutoring you & reshaping you into this fine specimen! I am also the worlds greatest wife, Xbox.....
There has never been any doubt in my mind that you are the worlds greatest wife. I am just blowing my own trumpet. :-)
Anonymous said…
tee hee
Chris said…
Anyone? No? OK, allow me....
I wish I could blow *my* own trumpet.
Fnar Fnar
Anonymous said…
What is the definition of the perfect husband?

A guy with a seven inch tongue that can breath through his
Anonymous said…
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:

"Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500.00."
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much ... "

"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year ... "
"What price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000 ... "
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

"Great! But before we hang up, something else ... "
"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property ... "
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $450,000 - a magnificent price ... and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover ... "

"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"
"OK, sweetie ... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye ... I do too ... "

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?

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