The Unkindest Cut Of All
Today I am off work so I can visit the hospital. I am going to have the snip.
As you can imagine, I am not too happy about the prospect of someone with a very sharp knife chopping away very close to my favourite organ but as I am such a great husband and Victoria and I don't want any more children I think it is the best thing to do.
When you first go to the doctors to request a vasectomy they try to put you off.
Doctor : "You do know it's permanent don't you".
Me : "Yes"
Doctor : "Even though it is the safest form of contraception there is still a chance it won't work"
Me : "I understand that yes"
Doctor : "What if your entire family die in a horrible accident involving a high speed crash on the M1 in which a burning bus crashes into your car, causing you to be thrown free but your wife and children to be mashed into pulp, burned to a crisp and then eaten by wild dogs? Would you not want to find someone else and start over again? Because you would not be able to!!"
Me : "eh?"
OK, so I am exaggerating but they really do say things like "What if one of your children dies, would you not want to replace it?". Like you can replace a child! Muppet's!
Anyway, I am all booked in for 14:30 at the Hallamshire. Victoria is coming with me for moral support and the kids are going to my mums. I am off work tomorrow as suggested by the hospital but I expect to be fighting fit for Wednesday.
I'll let you know later how it went.
Wish me luck!!!
As you can imagine, I am not too happy about the prospect of someone with a very sharp knife chopping away very close to my favourite organ but as I am such a great husband and Victoria and I don't want any more children I think it is the best thing to do.
When you first go to the doctors to request a vasectomy they try to put you off.
Doctor : "You do know it's permanent don't you".
Me : "Yes"
Doctor : "Even though it is the safest form of contraception there is still a chance it won't work"
Me : "I understand that yes"
Doctor : "What if your entire family die in a horrible accident involving a high speed crash on the M1 in which a burning bus crashes into your car, causing you to be thrown free but your wife and children to be mashed into pulp, burned to a crisp and then eaten by wild dogs? Would you not want to find someone else and start over again? Because you would not be able to!!"
Me : "eh?"
OK, so I am exaggerating but they really do say things like "What if one of your children dies, would you not want to replace it?". Like you can replace a child! Muppet's!
Anyway, I am all booked in for 14:30 at the Hallamshire. Victoria is coming with me for moral support and the kids are going to my mums. I am off work tomorrow as suggested by the hospital but I expect to be fighting fit for Wednesday.
I'll let you know later how it went.
Wish me luck!!!
Comments
See you at the weekend :)